Get Fit: Week 18
Hello internet and future self.
It's been a little over four months since I've started my journey. The lowest I weighed this week is around 209.9 pounds, a serious feat that I'm surprised I've pulled off. I'm still being mindful of eating, at least most of the time. I'm currently writing this blog post with a cappuccino while eating a pineapple butter cookie. It's okay though... I worked out and will eventually burn this throughout the day. Plus I ended up cleaning up my exterior of the house using my water pressure hose.
This week I've been thinking about my personal happiness and if I'm doing everything in my power to achieve it. I went on a friend date with Jessie yesterday at Eataly. She has never been to the spot here in L.A. (she has in Chicago), so I decided to hang out with her in Century City mall. She complimented me on my looks and how much I've accomplished. I jokingly told her "thanks for checking me out", which she giggled and laughed at my response. I also finally found out her age; she's 39! It's crazy because she doesn't look like her age but I guess that is due to her Asian genes. I also found out more of her past, why she is single now, but technically was married to someone a long time ago. Long story short, she deserves better. It's crazy that guys don't really have that kind of social integrity that I hold myself to.
As I got to know Jessie, we started discussing things like how to interview for work, dating, and other intimate details. I told her about my fitness journey and how it relates to my own internal body confidence as well as dating. The most important thing she wanted me to know is to always be yourself. "Don't get so focused on your appearance that you end up being a totally different person than who you really are." It's a good comment, and I really admire that she is helping me with my dating process. I also got to know her better as well. We watched Crazy Rich Asians in the movie theater, and there were plenty of romantic scenes that swept by through the movie. In many of those scenes, she cried, probably due to some of her own internal experiences that she's experienced in life. She's a great friend to have, and I hope we become closer as time passes by.
In other news, I went to Happy Hour with my coworkers on Thursday. Everyone had a great time and it was fun to catch up with friends from my Service Desk group. I also met someone new; her name is Amanda and I find her cute. Based off the dating techniques I learned from last time, I tried to put them to the test, to show intention that I like her. Unfortunately, there were so many other things happening around me and her that it was kind of hard to lock down a one-to-one conversation with her. I'll have to try harder and stop overthinking it. Did I mention I got the full check and paid about $500 for everyone? These are my friends...
I also met up with Min, who I haven't seen since the beginning of the year. We caught up on life, and of course he took notice of my physical appearance. We also talked about dating, and he noticed that I had a difference in how I felt compared to the first time Min brought a set of random chicks at the Library Bar a few years ago. I wish I had that confidence then, but it is something I'm working on now.
Today is Kevin's birthday celebration. He is so focused on getting wagyu meat for his birthday that he forgot about post-celebrations at a bar or something. I'm looking forward to meeting new people, and hopefully I ween out my friendliness and go for something more attractive. I'll get it...
Before I close out this blog, I wanted to talk about my own happiness and how I feel. Fitness has definitely built up my own confidence. Maybe not to a point where I can randomly walk up to a random stranger and say "Hey, I think you're cute," but I definitely think I have the potential to sign up for a dating app and starting meeting people who also have a hard time "hitting" on others. I know I have plenty to offer as a person, I just need to put more effort in to finding that other person who I want to share a life with. I think I have the potential to meet someone at a party and be more forward about how I feel about them, but I do need to get over the "what will she think of me after" thought. Rejection is something I need to learn to deal with if it happens, and to stand my ground rather than to just flee the scene.
I'm glad that I am more than halfway to my end goal. I may need to adjust it, based off how I physically look. Honestly, I just want to be able to show my stomach and be proud of the work I put in to make it look lean with no moving body fat. If I can get there and have the physically toned/fit appearance I'm going for, that would be the end of me trying super hard. Fitness will always be a journey, but at least the hardest parts would be over for me. I'm only four months in, I think in a couple years, I can look back at these posts and see how much I've grown and achieved. As always, be happy, be consistent, trust the process, and enjoy the journey. All worthwhile things take time to achieve.